Tell Me It's Not So
by DoYouFindMeDreadful
Summary: Ichigo has made mistakes before but his biggest was probably not dealing with Renji sooner ... Yaoi, Renji X Ichigo, adult content and character deaths
1. Chapter 1

As Ichigo arched against the pole, the metal pressed into his back to leave a small tingling sensation that was mimicked every time he touched a different part of it. The only time he didn't feel a prickle from the cold pole was when he brought a leather clad leg up to hook around it. As he arched once again, showing off the curve of his back and his tight ass in the equally tight pants, he heard a few whistles and cat calls but he easily ignored them, more then used to the reactions he got when he danced.

Spinning once around the bar jutting from the stage floor all the way up to the ceiling, he brought both legs up, hooking his knees around it to allow himself to slowly slide down it's length upside down, arching a bit more to display his abs and his cut groin. As usual, the patrons seemed both surprised and pleased at his toned body despite his almost lanky figure and a few more hands shot up into the air, all holding money. The only difference between any of them was the amount they were offering.

His eyes roved over the currency, easily determining who had the most to give him. Once at the bottom of the pole, he crawled across the length of the stage, eying everyone hungrily as he passed, just urging them to pull out more money until he got to the far end of the smooth floor. Ichigo leaned over the stage, locking eyes with the red head that had held up the most as he simultaneously jutted his ass higher up into the air. A grin crossed the red head's face and Ichigo smirked in return.

He leaned forward, holding the $20 up towards the carrot top's face and Ichigo gently bit down on a corner of the green paper, sliding it from the tattooed man's hand. Sliding backwards, away from him, Ichigo rose to his knees and began to sway his hips, fingers easily untying the small string that had kept his black leather pants closed.

Standing, he began to dance rather provocatively, slowly easing his pants down over his thighs, barely showing the skin of his groin. He watched as the red head shifted in his seat, failing to hide his hard-on but it only pulled Ichigo on, feeling a sort of power filled dominance at being able to make someone so turned on when he hadn't even touched him.

With one quick jerk of his hips, the black leather fell from him to pool around his ankles, leaving him bare and exposed to everyone's eyes. Calls rose and even more hands shot up, offering more and more money and Ichigo was determined to get every one of those dollars.

Returning to the pole, he began to grind and spin and do all sorts of acrobatic feats the not many people other then strippers know how to do, his cock hardening against the cold metal. He leaned forward, one hand on the pole, the other on his thigh, showing off his ass, balls and penis which earned him a few enthusiastic shouts and even more money offers.

Pleased with the amount of green he was now seeing, Ichigo sauntered across the stage, slipping off the edge to step in front of a dark haired girl whose face was bright red. He assumed it was either her first time in a strip club or he just had that kind of effect on people – but judging by the almost horrified look in her large blue eyes, he was guessing it was the former.

Ichigo lightly ran his hands over her shoulders, offering a smile which was returned only with a squeak and her face went even redder. The girl beside her (her friend whom she was there with he was guessing) laughed, turning away from the scene, probably in an attempt to hide her amusement. Ignoring her, he leaned in, lightly running his lips across the dark haired girls neck, causing her to shudder. His fingers trailed down her forearms, shifting to her sides to run down to her hips which he grasped gently, but it was enough to make her moan, arching into him slightly.

Leaning even further over the chair, Ichigo began to gently grind into her, pressing his cock against her sex through the skirt she wore, but even with the extra material between them, she still moaned and gasped, writhing slightly under his touch. Five grindings later, her body was spasming, head thrown back against her chair as moan after moan escaped her. He was somewhat surprised at first, never before had he made anyone cum quite so easily, but almost immediately he was filled with a strong feeling of pride. He was going to have to remember to try and do that again.

He gave her a chaste kiss before pulling away to continue his rounds through the crowd – after all, it was his job to please. The faces of the people were somewhat shocked at first, probably never before having seen a male stripper give a female patron an orgasm right then and there in front of the stage, and without any actual contact to boot, but they were soon whistling and trying to coax him over with even more money. He promised he'd give them a chance too as he made his way back towards the red head who smirked at him as he approached.

Without waiting for an invitation, Ichigo sat down on the mans lap, leaning back against his firm chest before he began to grind into him, pressing his ass firmly into his groin. A soft moan reached his ears and he continued his ministrations, not faltering at all as he glanced over his shoulder, smirking sexily into the handsome, tattooed face. "What's your name?" He asked in his sexiest voice.

"Renji." The man replied almost cockily.

Ichigo felt his heart stumble over itself, his pulse jackhammering as a fierce blush rose to his cheeks. Renji? Red head Renji? As in the red headed Renji he went to school with!? No! This couldn't be happening! There was no way he'd been stripping for and grinding on his old schoolmate this whole time! Fuck!

And when had he gotten all those tattoos!?


	2. Chapter 2

Despite his best attempts to convince his boss to let him go home for the night, Ichigo found himself dragging his feet back to one of the rooms with a couch in it, not entirely happy that he'd been told that a small rest will pick him back up from_ 'the pit of embarrassment he'd fallen into_' as Mr. Urahara had put it. That man could not seem to get it through his head that Ichigo had just experienced the single most horrific moment of his life and did not feel like being sexy for a day or two, let alone the next few hours! Sliding into the usually vacant room, used only by his fellow strippers who were unlucky enough to get thrown out of their living quarters but lucky enough to have Mr. Urahara offer up a temporary shelter, Ichigo plopped down onto the squeaky couch. Glancing around his new surroundings, he realized why he'd never ventured in there before. Not only was it sort of dusty and cluttered from a lack of cleaning but it also stank of vomit, alcohol and sex – not a very pleasant combination. His stomach was already uneasy enough as it was from the shock Renji had given to his system and the stench hanging in the air was not helping at all. 

But then again ... neither was thinking about Renji ...

Clutching his stomach and letting out a small groan, Ichigo relaxed down into the cushions, allowing himself to stretch out and get comfortable as he tried to ignore the smell and keep his mind from thinking about what had probably taken place right where he was laying. For a moment, he simply laid their and stared at the ceiling but when his thoughts began to lean towards the redhead that had caused him such grief he closed his eyes and tried to think of other things. 

Less upsetting things. 

Like that girl. 

The one he'd made orgasm ... right in front of Renji.

Dammit, he'd really fucked up this time. It wasn't enough he'd stripped for the guy and even given his cock a good grinding but he'd also witnessed Ichigo bring a young woman to pleasure right then and there in front of everyone. He couldn't have just recognized Renji's stupid ass could he? He had to completely overlook any and all signs of familiarity in his stupid face and just keep on trying to make money. How stupid did that make Ichigo feel? Very damn stupid, indeed. 

And he was getting tired of using the word 'stupid' repeatedly – even if it was only in his mental dialog.

"I'm so fucking stupid ..."

"Damn right you are," came the sultry reply from not even five inches away from his ear. 

With a small cry of surprise, Ichigo's eyes flew open as he jolted himself back further into the couches protection. Finding mirthful golden eyes staring back at him with amusement was not something he'd expected but finding the culprit to be Yoruichi didn't come as a surprise either. If any kind of mischief took place here it was almost always her doing and the worst part was she got away with it. He supposed it was a perk that came with being the bosses main squeeze.

"Dammit, Yoruichi! What the hell is wrong with you!" Ichigo all but shouted unable to keep his temper in check with so much testing it that night. "Are you trying to give me freakin' heart attack?" 

The smirk her lips formed was in no way sorry or apologetic for her actions. Then again, he couldn't really expect her to be, could he ...? "Never. After all, your one of the more popular male strippers and we can't go loosing you to something as trivial as a heart attack now can we?" 

Ichigo sighed, running a hand through his hair impatiently. "You say 'we' like you own this club and aren't a stripper just like me." A pause. "And heart attacks aren't trivial – their serious business."

"Of course they are," She replied, nodding as if she fully understood though he already knew his words had just flown right over her head, completely ignored. "and I thought I'd told you before that I willingly strip. I'm not an actual employee here, Ichigo, I do it because I want to! So, for all you know, I could very well own this club with Kisuke and I just never told you ..." 

For what seemed like a very long time, they stared into each others eyes, brown melting into gold, firm brown into swimming hazel – Ichigo was the first to look away. 

"I somehow doubt that." He muttered, more to himself then to her.

Yoruichi chuckled gently. "Oh, really? Then, how is it that even after you explained your situation to Kisuke three times, I _somehow_ talked him into letting you go home?" 

In all honesty, Ichigo wasn't sure he'd heard right but decided to at least _pretend_ he knew what she'd said, though he still sounded incredulous when he all but croaked out; "Really?"

She nodded, pony tail bouncing. "Yep. But this means you have to work really hard tomorrow night and earn a lot of money to make this up." She warned gently, though the playful purr in her voice was a dead give away that she was only teasing him. Which was perfectly fine because if it meant he could go home and (hopefully) not vomit then he was willing to take a bit of mockery.

"Thanks Ms. Yoruichi, I owe you." 

"I know you do." 

(XxXxX) 

Finding his table covered in Chinese food boxes was not something Ichigo had expected when he'd stepped into his apartment but it wasn't necessarily an offensive sight either. It just left him with one, definitive, ground breaking, ultimately fate changing conclusion which was: his roommate was home. 

"Shuhei! Where are you?" The carrot top called out as he dropped his bags onto the floor.

"Back here! Give me a moment!" came the reply as he crossed the threshold into the kitchen. There were a few more boxes on the counter top and it made Ichigo wonder just how many people his roommate had thought they'd be feeding. Maybe there was someone with Shuhei who he didn't know about ... or he could have been expecting someone to pay a visit. It just really wasn't like him to bring anyone over unannounced and especially so late ... 

All suspicions of a third party were wiped from his mind when the dark haired man stepped into the kitchen dressed in only a pair of jeans that were unbuttoned and unzipped, left to cling to his thin hips loosely. Shuhei greeted him with a nonchalant wave before he bent to retrieve a beer from the fridge. Even though he knew it wasn't appropriate, Ichigo couldn't help but look at Shuhei's ass appreciatively, knowing full and well that if it wasn't his good looks that had made clothing lines want him to model their products then it was definitely his body. His rear had just been the deal closer.

_If only my ass were as nice then maybe I'd be able to move up from stripping to modeling too ... _

"So, how was work?" Shuhei asked gently as he popped the can open, tilting his head back to take a swig and leaving the long line of his neck on display. His Addams apple bobbed once, twice then a sigh escaped his lips as he pulled the can from his mouth. Ichigo had always felt a little envious when in Shuhei's presence and this was exactly why. He just made every thing look so ... damn ... good. 

"Not so great," the carrot top admitted with a sigh of his own. He retreated into the small living room where their table was setup and, coincidentally, where the food was as well. "I ran into someone I didn't really want to – and in the worst possible way too."

"Let me guess," Shuhei muttered as he watched Ichigo slide into a chair from the kitchen's entrance. "you stripped for this person?" 

Ichigo's stomach began to ache again. Dammit, he needed something to calm it down ... 

Shuhei cocked a dark brow when his words were met with silence. It must have meant he'd struck it head on, but judging by his roomies face, it looked like their was more. After a moment of consideration, he decided to just go with the next best guess. "Did you give them a lap dance too?"

"Dammit, Shuhei, just stop already!" Ichigo cried out in exasperation, grabbing onto his own short hair and pulling hard enough to make his eyes water slightly. "Just be quiet and eat some damn Chinese food! You bought so freakin' much we could live for a week off it all! At least enjoy it while it's fresh cause' three days from now it's not gonna' be tasting so good!" 

Chuckling gently, the tattooed man obliged and stepped over, sliding into the chair across from Ichigo who, in a show of agitation, was already shoveling food from one of the boxes into his mouth. With a shake of his head, Shuhei picked up his set of chopsticks, broke them apart and began to chow down on the shrimp fried rice. Oh, how he did love shrimp. It just wasn't so great for him ... oh well. That's what exercise was for he supposed.

"So, who was this person anyway?" He asked after a moment of silence. 

Frowning down at his half eaten egg roll, Ichigo gave a shrug. "Some guy from high school." 

Shuhei blinked up at him. "Did he recognize _you_?" 

"Yeah! The bastard came looking for me! I mean – what the hell is up with that?! You only do that sort of thing with best friends or if your in love! And he is most certainly not in love with me!" 

Reaching for the sweet and sour chicken box, Shuhei asked gently; "Were you best friends then?"

"Psh! Hell no! We fought all the time! The only reason we even knew each other was because we were always beating each other up!" Ichigo angrily bit into a chunk of beef, chewing with as much irritation as one possibly could. 

This time it was Shuhei's turn to frown. "So if your not best friends then he must be in love with you." 

Ichigo's eyes widened as his cheeks turned bright red. "Wha-what!?" 

"You just said so yourself," Shuhei replied fixing the carrot top with his own look of agitation. "By your logic, if he didn't come find you because you two were buddies then that means their must be emotions between you two."

"That's not true!" Ichigo insisted as he dropped his chopsticks into the box he'd last been eating from. He suddenly wasn't feeling so hungry ... 

Shuhei shrugged, thinking that for it to be nothing like he was claiming, Ichigo sure was being defensive about the whole thing. "Well, did you ever say or do anything to him that might make him like you or something?" 

"No ..." 

"Did he ever say or do anything that would hint his feelings towards _you_." 

"No."

"Does he know your bisexual?"

"No! For gods sake, Shuhei just let it go!" 

Rolling his eyes, the dark haired man sighed heavily. "Fine. I don't really care anyway. But when he starts stalking you, don't come crying to me because I tried to help you out so you can set things straight with him." With as much authority of a judge ending a trial, Shuhei lifted his beer, drank the last of it's contents and then slammed it down onto the table. 

And just like that, that particular conversation was dead.

"Speaking of stalkers," Ichigo said, pleasantly enough. "hows your fanboy?" 

Shuhei chuckled as he swiped a strand of hair from his eyes. "As fanboyish as ever." 

(XxXxX)

That night when it was time to go to sleep, Ichigo crawled into bed with Shuhei, not out of wanting comfort from the other male or even from wanting someone to share the lonely night with. It was more to give him proof that, although it didn't always _seem_ like he had anyone there for him, there was at least one person who always had his back. And, as if to further that proof, he slept the whole night with his back against Shuhei's front and, never one to deny physical contact, the tattooed man remained pressed tight against the younger male, arms around his middle.

If their was one thing Shuhei understood, that was the feeling of being alone. 

(XxXxX) 

Yes, I finally managed to update. I am so sorry that it took so long and this chapter was nothing more then fodder to get the story going into the next chapter. I doubt you care about my sorry excuses but I'd like to at least attempt to save myself. To begin with, I find it hard to continue stories and I had a hard time finding inspiration for this and then school started and since I fail at life, that took up most of my attention. Then, theres the fact that for some goddamn reason my computer won't let me sign in to FF.N and I have to actually use my mothers computer to post this and she doesn't like me using her computer and so I have to sneak and do it and --- it's just very troublesome. Please forgive me.

But, I do hope that you liked this chapter. Even though there wasn't a whole lot going on I still hope it was good enough to please. And I wonder if anyone caught the foreshadowing at the end ... I know this is a kind of slow start but I have something very interesting planned for this so I hope you all stick around! 

And who _doesn't_ love the idea of Shuhei and Ichigo being roommates? I personally think it's genius because they'd be great living under the same roof. Personalities close enough that it doesn't cause too much conflict but different enough to make things interesting. Not exactly 'Friends' material but not everyone can make it big in a sitcom, right? Right. 

I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible. Promise.


	3. Chapter 3

In general, Shuhei was a pretty laid back person and the only time he made a truly note worthy reaction was either in the throws of passion or when he was pissed. He'd always been like that, really, it was apparently in his nature, a gift given to him at birth if you will. Even when he'd been a little boy the normal drama and angst of playground affairs barely touched his somewhat reserved personality and, while not antisocial, he'd never really given a crap about what everyone else was doing or relationships floating around at any given time. True enough, most boys are like this, but his disposition towards social status and friends and what have you reached even into his own gender. He'd never tried to emulate another male or gain his own group of 'no girls allowed' friends.

Another thing that had set him apart from most other children and, incidentally, other little boys, had been his seeming ignorance to gender identity. While most boys tried to have as little contact with girls as possible and just stuck to their own kind, he would happily interact with girls just as much as boys.

Because, in the end, Shuhei was only interested in doing his own thing and enjoying life.

As such, it would only make sense that he would have obtained a motto along the lines of 'mind your own business and don't get involved in other peoples shit'. It's just logical. However, seeing the look of nervous despair in Ichigo's chocolate brown eyes and the anxiety he was obviously feeling that made his motions and actions uncertain, almost idle was something he could not ignore. While not prepared to go searching for this elusive classmate and beat him into a bloody pulp for rattling his best friend and roommate so badly (because, in the end, what would that serve to do? Get him a criminal record? Ruin his reputation as a model _and_ as a person? Thanks, but no thanks.) he was more then prepared to help the carrot top out.

Thats why, that morning at the table when they were both eating Trix cereal, not even 15 hours after Ichigo's less then impressive run in, Shuhei announced that they were going shopping.

"But we have more then enough food in the fridge," Ichigo had replied, clearly not on the same page as his roomy. "I mean, all that Chinese food from last night -"

"Not to the grocery store, you dork!" Shuhei laughed out right, honestly finding the others almost hick like mindset rather amusing. He was convinced it must have been a result from Ichigo living in the suburbs before moving into the city. "I meant we're going clothes shopping, and shoe shopping and if we want, we can even get a manicure ..." He made a point to trail off suggestively.

"Do you have any idea how completely gay you sound right now?" The carrot top asked as he fixed him with a questioning look. He had to admit though, he could feel excitement bubbling up in his stomach and it made a smile rise to his face that he couldn't quite seem to fight down. He'd never gone _shopping_ shopping with Shuhei before.

The tattooed male nodded in complete understanding. "It's all the modeling. It does things to you."

"Like, give you totally weird fanboy's?"

"Exactly." A pause. "Actually, he's probably part of why I have such feminine tendencies."

(XxXxX)

Ichigo had never thought in his wildest dreams that Shuhei made enough money from doing nothing more then walking around on a catwalk to buy the sexiest ... tightest ... most scrumptious ... pair of leather pants he'd ever seen in his _entire_ life.

They really did bring a tear to his eye.

Upon seeing the look of true, unadulterated longing on his face, Shuhei couldn't help but wonder if Ichigo was even going to _wear_ the pants or if he was just going to frame them and hang them on the wall above his bed. Knowing the boys somewhat fetishy obsession with leather, the idea wasn't all that far fetched. "You doing ok over there, buddy?" He called over a bit uncertainly. He was sincerely hoping he didn't get a hard on right there in the middle of the store – over pants of all things!

The stripper nodded almost numbly, hugging the pants to his chest as if they were a godsend. Seeing this as the best time to hurry him up before things got too over the top, Shuhei handed his debit card over as he explained to Ichigo that he was going across the street to another store and to meet him over there after he'd paid for his precious pants. With that and a small chuckle, the dark haired male exited the store.

Ichigo's eyes immediately shot back down to the leather in his arms. He was so, so, soooo glad he'd gone shopping with Shuhei and that he was such a nice guy – unbelievably nice in his book, because, in the end, the pants alone came down to over a hundred bucks and that really proved how much his roommate cared about him. It was a comforting thought and it brought a smile to his face (yes, a happier smile then the one the pants conjured.) but it also kind of made him a bit disappointed that he himself didn't have a few hundred dollars to spend on Shuhei in return.

Because, in truth, no matter how good a stripper he might be, his profession wasn't the most rewarding.

... and man, how that admittance left a bad taste in his mouth.

Trying to ignore his own short comings in life, Ichigo shuffled to the checkout counter, barely uttering a 'hi' to the cashier. It was only when she returned the greeting with a choked out 'hello' that he even bothered to look up.

Chocolate brown eyes met large blue ones, the latter of which quickly glanced away. Ichigo blinked.

"Hey, your that girl from last night," He said slowly, recognition dawning on his features.

"I don't know what your talking about!" The girl all but shouted as she scanned his pants and bagged them in what had to have been a record time. "Your total comes to $120! Will that be cash or credit!?"

For a moment, her flustered demeanor made him pause but he decided to plow on. "There's no need to be embarrassed about anything," He was obviously trying to comfort her, but if the way her cheeks turned even redder was any indication, he was failing terribly. "I mean, if anyone should be embarrassed it should be me. I was the one taking my clothes off and showing my goods."

Her (admittedly pretty) eyes looked as if they would roll right out of her head onto the counter. "Do not talk so leisurely about things like that! Have you no decency?!"

Ichigo couldn't help but frown slightly. Depending on who you asked, strippers didn't have any decency at all ... whereas others would say they have some ... and then others would say that strippers were nothing but decent and just living as best they could. Then again, most people with that third opinion either are or were at one point a stripper themselves, so it was a bit biased.

Finally deciding that it was a rhetorical question (It had to have been! He could never answer that without being hypocritical!) he decided to try another approach. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'll stop talking about it then if you want." A curt nod from her confirmed that it would be a good idea to do so. "My name is Ichigo by the way. It's nice to meet you ..." Pausing to lean a bit over the counter, he read her name tag aloud. "Rukia."

Her arms shot across her bosom, covering her breasts. "Don't look at my chest, you pervert! Do you want me to call security!?"

Ichigo felt agitation rise from his almost melancholic state. What was this girls deal? "Hey! I wasn't the one in a strip club last night acting all innocent now!"

"How dare you!"

"It was a bisexual strip club, too!"

Her mouth fell open in shock.

"Where both boys _and_ girls get naked and prance around." He all but hissed out.

"Why you -"

It was at this time, as is usual for fate's twisted sense of humor, that Ichigo's phone went off, System of a Down blaring through his pocket. The sound was so sudden it startled both of them, each falling into silence with a yelp. Their eyes met once again and an unspoken truce was made; Ichigo handing the card over as he fished out his phone and Rukia taking care of the payment. The second before he flipped his cell open, he informed her it was debit.

"Hello?"

"_What's taking so long over there?"_

"Sorry Shuhei – there was a line. I'm done though so I'll be right over, ok?" He took the signing pen Rukia offered and idly scribbled down his roommates name.

"_Yeah, see you in a bit." _

Ichigo snapped the phone shut, stuffing it back into his pocket before taking his bag and Shuhei's card from Rukia. Giving a small sigh, he hesitated before making his way towards the exit, fixing the raven haired girl with an apologetic look. "Um, I'm sorry about all this," He began uncertainly.

"Oh, it's all right." She immediately replied, glancing down at the counter between them. "It's sort of my fault for being so defensive about the whole thing ... I guess."

Chuckling, Ichigo gave her a small wave. "Maybe I'll see you around some time," She returned the wave, though she didn't look entirely happy. He couldn't tell if she was really upset or if she was still embarrassed but either way he had to admit that her large blue eyes really gave her a somewhat cute look. Maybe he'd come in again ...

(XxXxX)

After narrowly dodging a car, Ichigo found himself in the store across the street, but there was no sign of Shuhei what so ever. Typical. He was probably trying on clothes. However, knowing him, it was more then likely turning into a fashion show. If he had an audience gathering around him or if his own eyes were the only ones seeing his performance didn't really matter because, either way, Shuhei would have been more then happy to try on everything in the store. Applause or no.

With a small sigh, the carrot top began to wander around through the isles, only half interested in what he was seeing. He was already more then content with what he had in the bag he was carrying and he didn't need anything else as far as he was concerned. Nope. Nothing could ruin his mood now. The pants lightly hitting his leg with each step were a dream come true and nothing short of death was going to rain on his leather clad parade.

"Ichigo!"

The young man felt the air catch in his throat and his body seized in on itself.

Ok, so maybe one itsy bitsy little thing could ruin his mood and that just so happened to be a certain red haired demon from the darkest regions of his nightmares ... or if one wanted to be nice, we could always just say Renji, but, thats just so boring. Right?

Spinning on his heel, Ichigo came face to face with the last person he wanted to see. Anger immediately flared up and he found himself easily snapping at the long haired male. "What the hell! Are you stalking me or something?!"

He honestly looked truly perplexed. "No, of course not -"

"Then what do you want!?" Ichigo cut in, none too gently. "Was embarrassing the hell out of me not enough? You want more? Want me to strip right here for you?"

Much to his surprise, Renji's cheeks tinted a gentle pink in response. "No! That's not what I want! Just listen -"

"Oh, _hell_ no," The carrot top exclaimed as if realization was dawning on him. There was no fucking way Shuhei had been right! No way! "You did not come to find me because your in love with me! You did _not_!"

Renji's eyes widened slightly then an incredulous look crossed his features, though his cheeks still remained a light pink. "Of course not! What would make you think that!?"

Twisting back around, Ichigo began to make his way towards the fitting rooms. He was not going to listen to excuses, and lies and the blabbering of an idiot. He was going home even if he had to drag Shuhei out in his underwear and fend Renji off with a hanger. It was just too much. Too much damn nonsense and he didn't need it. Wasn't everything hard enough already without having to deal with a stalker on top of everything else!? Couldn't he just have a mommen-

A large and powerful hand fell on his wrist, jerking him to a stop. Finally blinded by anger, Ichigo spun to face him, already swinging his free fist with all the intent in the world of slugging Renji into next month.

"They found them!"

His sudden exclamation was enough to make Ichigo pause, fist poised midair as his fogged brain tried to comprehend just what the hell Renji was talking about.

Taking the moment of confused calmness, the redhead drew in the breath to explain himself. He was just glad Ichigo had enough control of his body to stop himself ... it would have sucked to kick his ass before he told him the reason for his 'visit'.

"They found the bodies of your dad and sisters, Ichigo. Not even three weeks ago the police found them in the woods but no one knew how to get a hold of you. So I came looking."

Ichigo could feel his body beginning to shake.

(XxXxX)

Dun, dun, dun. Yay! I can't believe how quickly this chapter spewed out of me. Then again, it was a lot easier because I had everything planned out when I wrote the second chapter whereas the first one was originally just a oneshot done on request. Tee hee. I think I'm getting better at this chapter story thing. XD

I hope you guys all liked this chapter and the revelations. Hope it wasn't too much and it doesn't drive anyone away. That would suck ... a lot. So please review and tell me what you think! I cannot believe the response I've gotten for this, I never imagined people would like it so much and I know that if I hadn't gotten such a reaction from you guys I never would have continued so thank you all so much! This chapter is dedicated to you all!

P.S. If anyone can guess who Shuhei's fanboy is, I'll give you a present. XD And, if anyone can predict the underlying plot that will not only show me that you have a twisted mind just like myself, but I'll give you an even bigger present! Then again, I doubt you'd be able to guess the latter with so little information at this point but ... make me proud!!


	4. Chapter 4

Letting his forehead rest on the cool shower tiles, Ichigo fought to keep his body from trembling. He'd been shaking like a leaf the entire ride home and Shuhei had obviously been concerned but any and all questions he'd asked had been met with silence. In fact, if he were being honest, Ichigo hadn't even heard a word the model had said to him, he'd been far too wrapped up in how own thoughts to acknowledge the squirrel they'd almost hit let alone answer questions. He was just too fucked up right now ...

Royally fucked up on so many levels, it would probably be impossible to name them all or even begin to try to deal with any of it. The only thing that really stuck out in his racing thoughts was 'they'd found them'. They'd found his family. After seven years, they'd finally located the bodies – or, if we were going to be morbidly technical, the skeletons.

He just didn't get it, didn't understand. It was the main thing messing up his mind right now, the only thing that he couldn't comprehend and he wanted desperately to figure out what it was suppose to mean. Maybe -

A knock at the door startled him, completely derailing his thoughts and, with a sigh, he croaked out a "Yeah?"

Through the sound of running water, the water that was so hot it was making his skin sting and the entire bathroom foggy like a sauna, he heard the door creak open. A small gust of cool air floated into the bathroom then the door clicked shut again and Shuhei's calm voice floated through the steam, sounding like salvation and damnation all at the same time. "You ok, Ichigo?"

A breathless gasp left the carrot tops throat and he found himself sliding down onto the bottom of the tub, hands grasping uselessly at the slick tiles. "Not really ... I'm not sure what to do – you know?"

"Sorry Ichigo, but I can't really help you out because I don't know what's wrong." A pause that was only occupied by the sound of the water and then he spoke again, more gently this time. "Wanna' tell me what happened?"

Ichigo shook his head, knowing that Shuhei couldn't see it, but even so, even as he turned his head from side to side he found his lips moving and the truth spilling forth. "They found my dad and my sister's bodies. Back home, where I came from, they found them. In the forest ..." A dry sob escaped him and he could feel his body beginning to quiver again.

Suddenly the shower curtain was drawn back and the carrot top couldn't stop himself from jumping slightly – his nerves being just too frayed at this point. Slowly, he turned his head up and found Shuhei looking down at him, an expression of apology on his lovely face and then, much to his surprise, he slid into the tub with him, clothes and all! Ichigo's brows furrowed in confusion and he'd just opened his mouth to ask what the hell he was doing when Shuhei's arms found their way around his middle, pulling him into a tight embrace.

He didn't even seem to care that he was getting all wet and his hair was now flat against his skull rather then spiked and --

Releasing a shaky breath, Ichigo leaned into the others body, cheek finding a muscled shoulder.

(XxXxX)

Renji was trying really hard not get mad. Really, _really_ hard.

It wasn't enough that Ichigo had flipped out in the middle of his own performance their first run in as if Renji were some sort of crazy stalker, but then to have his friend punch him like _he_ was the bad guy! Well, that was just asking for a fight. Apparently, Mr. Kurosaki hadn't gotten his ass kicked enough in school ...

Ok, so maybe Renji was pouting like a five year old, but that didn't change the fact that Ichigo was pissing him off. The least he could have done was say '_Hey, thanks for telling me about that! I'll just pack my shit and go back home, now that I know. Your a great friend Renji._'. But no! He flips out and gets him escorted off the premises by bouncers and then some guy with a '69' tattooed on his cheek comes out of nowhere and knocks him on his ass, telling him to 'leave Ichigo the hell alone'! What is up with that!? Did Ichigo just not care?

No, that couldn't have been it. He'd been so messed up when they'd gone missing and then he'd dropped out of high school when the police said they were more then likely dead. Then he'd moved away ... So it couldn't be that he doesn't care. But what else could be wrong with him?

With a snort of agitation, Renji pressed the icepack to his swollen cheek, wincing at the sting, before snatching up his phone. He had to complain to someone – and who better to complain to then Momo? She was a girl so she wouldn't mind listening, right? Right.

(XxXxX)

Sometimes, Ichigo really had to wonder how Shuhei dealt with such an ... eccentric fanboy.

The last thing either of them had expected to see when they'd stumbled out of the bathroom, sopping wet and leaving a trail of water in their wake, had been Yumichika.

And yet, there he was, sitting on their couch as if he belonged there.

It was actually kind of creepy ...

"And just what were you two doing in the bathroom?" The rather effeminate man had inquired suspiciously, eying Ichigo's slick nude body and Shuhei's equally wet, but half dressed form. He didn't even try to hide the fact that his eyes fixed on the model's groin, looking rather intently at what was barely hidden behind soaked jeans. Ichigo couldn't help but feel a bit bashful and tried vainly to cover his goods with his hand.

"Oh, we were just taking an innocent shower together. Nothing to get your panties in a bunch over." Shuhei replied nonchalantly, but somehow, coming from him, that alibi didn't sound very innocent.

Yumichika cocked a nicely sculpted brow, not seeming very convinced. "With your pants on?"

"It was a spur of the moment kind of thing."

"I see ..."

Ichigo chose this time to speak up, trying his damnedest to push all his issues to the back burner, his mind concerned with only one thing at this moment. "How did you get in here, Yumi?"

A sparkling smile broke out over the other males face. "I used the key."

Shuhei and Ichigo exchanged glances. "What key? Neither of us gave you one ... right?"

"Nope! But I had one made!"

The carrot top could feel a headache coming on. Slowly, he pulled away from Shuhei, ignoring the fact he was completely naked as he made his way towards his room. "I'm going to lay down."

"Have a nice nap, Ichigo!" Yumichika called after him, completely unabashed by his breaking and entering of their apartment. Typical Yumi ...

(XxXxX)

Woot! Sorry that it's a short chapter but it's just suppose to be a filler type thing – you know, showing Ichigo's dealing with everything and also Renji's thoughts on it. The next chapter will not only be more exciting but it will also have the much awaited confrontation between Renji and Ichigo. Better be ready, I'm intending for it to be pretty rough emotionally.

And, congratulations to JadeRent! You were the first person to guess correctly that Shuhei's fanboy is Yumichika! Yay for you! (throws up confetti) Your present is – a request! If you have a pairing or a situation that you would just LOVE to see then tell me and I shall write it for you! And congratulations to everyone else who correctly guessed that it was Yumichika but sadly, you didn't review quickly enough. I'm sorry. Maybe their will be another chance in the future.

As always, please review and tell me what you think! I love you ALL!


	5. Chapter 5

_People disappear one by one (blue flames)_

_On the other side of the darkness (the morning won't come anymore)_

_With countless wriggling and stretching hands in the mirror_

_Come on, lure someone here_

_-When cicadas cry (Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni) _

(XxXxX)

Tonight the pole was not cold against his skin, but rather, warm and inviting, almost like a lifeline that would save him from everything and keep him alive no matter what. It was reassuring in it's own way and, instead of reminding him of his shortcomings, it gave him reason. Reminded him of why he was there and why he was doing this. Why he did anything. Most importantly though, it gave him strength.

Standing on the stage, half naked and dancing with more emotion then ever before, he found everything clicking back into place. His mind was no longer backed up with unnecessary thought and worry and he knew what he had to do now. It was an obvious solution but it hadn't been able to come to him sooner. It _couldn't_ have with everything in his conscious shattering like a dropped glass on the hard floor of reality, but now, with all the shards glued back into one tangible object that wouldn't break again with the lightest of touches, he knew with utmost certainty which path he had to travel.

Gliding down the almost searing metal, back arched gracefully, Ichigo forgot about his surroundings completely, lost in his own world of ecstasy and pleasure that was occasionally self induced but more times then not, given to him by a partner. It was a world of black orgasms and painful penetrations, blood oozing from wounds caused by nails and teeth and sometimes even inanimate objects and red mingling with orange on a sea of white sheets. It was never enough though and he found himself wanting more each time ...

Blinking open half dazed eyes, Ichigo glanced around his surroundings, over the faces and the money being held up as offering to him, the deity of this stage and it's pole, past the almost blinding lights and the other strippers. There was nothing there for him.

Nothing to give him what he wanted.

On some level, he realized that another stripper had joined him on his stage but it was only when soft, creamy thighs straddled his back did he truly take note of her. Glancing over his shoulder, Ichigo found the person to be none other then Cirucci, her top already abandoned to allow the creamy skin of her breasts to catch the light, giving her an almost ethereal glow. She looked like a fairy or, at the very least, a fallen angel.

Letting out a soft moan, the carrot top lowered his upper body onto the cool floor of the stage, arching his rear as high into the air as he could. This made Cirucci slide forward, up along the length of his spine until she stood, her pigtails bouncing gently even as she firmly planted the heel of her boots between his shoulder blades. This was nothing new to him, he'd been subject to her 'performance' before, her being the clubs almost official dominatrix, but what came as something of a surprise was the tingling that rose from her sharp heel grinding into his flesh and the moan it pulled from him.

The sound of whistling rose and he knew that she was soaking up the attention for everything it was worth, but he ignored it, instead focusing on the sting of her boot and the way his cock was hardening in response.

When she pulled away from him, he couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed, if not empty from the lack of pain, and he rose to his hands and knees in time to see her slide down the pole – _his_ pole – with her legs spread in a perfect 'V' shape. His eyes fixed on her ass and the white, frilly thong that did little to cover her genitalia, knowing good and well that it was going to be removed soon.

He was unable to stop the smile when, as soon as she reached the floor again, the thong came off, discarded on the stage as she made her way back over to him.

With a sudden wrenching of his skull, Cirucci yanked a fistful of his hair, pulling him closer until, with him kneeling directly before her, she slung one of her legs over his shoulder, effectively pressing his face right into her warmth. Ichigo's cock was fully erect almost immediately and, unable to stop himself, he leaned further against her to run his tongue between her folds, making her shudder against him.

Once again, she pulled away from him, this time moving across the stage to strike a pose, hip cocked and hands on her thighs as she studied the crowd, looking for the person who was going to give her the most money.

Taking this moment to rise to his feet, Ichigo ignored his hard-on and did a quick once over of the faces himself. However, he had to do a double take because, low and behold, there was Renji, standing towards the entrance and just _staring_ at him. Initially, surprise and shock rose within him but then anger overrode that and, finally, acceptance settled and he rolled his eyes. Apparently one well placed punch from Shuhei was enough to get him to back off to a distance. Too bad that hadn't worked in high school when Ichigo had been the one throwing the punches.

Hopping off the stage, the carrot top slowly made his way towards the other male, promising lap dances and private one-on-one's later to the people trying to wave him over with their money. It was hard to pass them up, especially the ones with a decent amount of cash in hand and it didn't help any that he knew what he was going to do with Renji wasn't going to earn him any money at all.

As was his nature, Renji didn't back down from Ichigo's approach, though, as he got closer, he could see that his cheek was still pretty swollen and red. He'd have to remember to properly thank Shuhei later ...

"Yo," Ichigo greeted nonchalantly.

The red head cocked a tattooed brow, looking perplexed as he wearily returned the greeting. "Yo ..."

It was obvious he was uncertain about the strippers sudden desire to talk to him and not completely brush him off, but that could only be expected. Their last two encounters hadn't exactly been the best and their entire history together wasn't the friendliest either. At least he wasn't shrugging him off but, then again, he had every right to, so Ichigo could only assume it was his good hearted side that was keeping Renji civil and not trying to knock his head off his shoulders.

"Want a lap dance?" The look on Renji's face was enough to make Ichigo laugh outright. He looked as if he'd just requested to do open heart surgery on him or something along those resulting in death lines. Shaking his head gently, Ichigo reached over, grabbing his hand. "Don't look like that, I'm serious. C'mon, we can go in back."

Turning, he tried to lead the slightly taller male away but he refused to budge. "Why do you want to be nice to me all of a sudden?" Renji all but demanded, sounding both interested and appalled.

Looking back over his shoulder, Ichigo fixed him with his sexiest look. "I just want to make sure we're on friendly terms is all." This was enough to shut Renji up and, with him no longer resisting, Ichigo pulled him further into the club. He already knew exactly where he was taking him and exactly what he was going to do and, as long as Renji didn't suddenly decide he didn't like him anymore, it was going to be a fun night – ulterior motives aside.

They managed to get through the 'Staff Only' door without being stopped, only receiving questioning looks from a few of the bouncers, but that was as far before they were met with resistance. Ichigo had honestly expected to be questioned but _he_ was the last person he'd thought to do it.

"Where do you think your going? Shouldn't you be on stage right now? Who is he? You know your not suppose to bring customers back here." Uryu rattled off, looking for all intents and purposes like an angry school boy. The outfit he'd chosen to wear tonight looked like something straight from a Catholic school, but, knowing the bespectacled male, he probably thought it was some sort of great, revolutionary fashion statement.

"He's not a customer," Ichigo snapped irritably. At the moment, he wanted nothing more then to stomp his scholarly glasses into the ground, for keeping him away from his goal if not for being annoying as all hell.

Uryu cocked a brow, not looking at all convinced. "Oh? Then what is he then?"

The carrot top paused a moment, looking back at Renji as if for inspiration. Smirking, he turned to Uryu again. "He's my boyfriend."

The dark haired man gaped at them, his mouth opening and closing as if he wanted to say something but couldn't quite find the voice to and, without waiting for him to find his vocal cords, Ichigo pushed passed him, dragging an equally stunned Renji behind him.

(XxXxX)

_Among the nonsense tragedies, what on earth you are looking for?_

_You only have to be honest to yourself and your own fate_

_Tell me why or why not. Complaining way too much_

_Maybe I overlooked something fatal for me_

_-Why or Why Not (Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni) _

(XxXxX)

The room still stank just like Ichigo remembered from a few nights before but this time, he was not alone and the circumstances were much different.

Turning on his heel, Ichigo reached up to grab a hold of Renji's shirt, yanking him forward and into a searing kiss. At first, he didn't do much in return, no doubt shocked beyond all belief but after a moment or two, he leaned further into the carrot top, returning the kiss. Hands found their way into red hair, pulling some of it out of the ponytail as Ichigo tried to meld their bodies together. It was true. He wanted to become one with him, but not just in the sexual sense. He wanted to _be_ a part of Renji.

Their kiss was not entirely a kiss, but more like a war for dominance and desire, both wanting and both willing to take it from the other. Teeth sunk into lips and the soft flesh of tongue, each trying to consume the other for everything he was worth and then some.

Renji barely realized that his hands had found Ichigo's ass and he was yanking impatiently at the leather that concealed his beautiful skin, keeping him from pressing flesh against flesh. He'd always known that he'd had some kind of feelings for the carrot top, but it was only now, when they were both grabbing and pulling at each other almost desperately, that he understood just _how_ he felt for him. It wasn't love, far be it from that, but it was something that was often confused for it.

Lust.

There was no mistaking it now that he had something to compare it to and he'd come to terms with his sexuality. He was gay and he wanted Ichigo – had always wanted him since high school – and now it was plain as day. Maybe his reasons for coming to find him weren't just to tell him about his family ...

But when Ichigo bit into his neck, the reasons for him finding him didn't matter anymore. The only thing that _did_ matter was the he _had_ found Ichigo and they were now in each others sinful embrace.

Without much warning, Renji spun them around and slammed Ichigo up against the door they'd come through only minutes before. A grunt escaped those pink lips and chocolate brown eyes rose to meet Renji's moments before the redhead descended on him once again, pressing his tongue against the pulse pounding against the side of his throat. Ichigo moaned gently, turning his head to allow Renji better access.

For a moment, hands fumbled with clothes and the leather pants that had been hugging his waist slid down Ichigo's legs to pool around his ankles, leaving him bare and exposed in the cool, stale air. Renji's hand reached blindly for his hard member but, in a quick reflex, Ichigo shoved him away.

The look on that tattooed face was laughable; surprise, anger, lust and irritation all displayed at once and, before he could shout and complain in that unnecessarily loud voice of his, Ichigo moved forward, grabbing his black t-shirt and yanking it up over his head. More tattoos were revealed, covering his chest all the way down past his pants and the carrot top paused, eying him curiously.

"Where do you _work_ at? Who would hire someone with so many tattoos?" Ichigo couldn't think of many places that were tattoo friendly and still payed decently. Even Urahara turned away some people with too many piercings and tattoos – and that was saying something considering his own questionable character.

Renji shrugged, obviously uncaring about the details as he ran his hands down the curve of Ichigo's back longingly. "I'm a tattoo artist."

"Oh."

Renji frowned in agitation. "What? Got a problem?"

Ichigo also frowned. "No. I just said 'oh', like, 'oh, I see'. What's your issue?"

"I think I heard a bit of pity in that 'oh'. You think just cause' I'm a tattoo artist there's something bad about it?"

"Screw you and if you don't shut up I'm going to kick your ass!"

"Yeah!?"

"Yeah!"

Suddenly, Renji grabbed at Ichigo and they both ended up flailing to the floor. Ichigo managed to pin the redhead to the ground and it looked as if it was about to escalate into an actual fight when Ichigo bit down onto his chest. Hard.

A primal howl left Renji, his back arching slightly as canines dug into the flesh so close to his nipple it hurt the pink flesh even though it wasn't being touched. Seething slightly, he grabbed a fistful of Ichigo's short hair and yanked him up, not at all surprised at the blood staining his supple lips. With the air now hitting the wound, it stung sharply and made zaps of white hot electricity shoot down his body and right into his groin. Crap, that hurt ...

Rolling them over, Renji pressed the others nude body into the carpet, grasping at smooth thighs as he fought with Ichigo to get him into a decent position. It almost seemed as if the carrot top wanted to be the one wielding the cock in this romp, but Renji was having none of that. He was slightly pissed now but more importantly, he was horny and there was no way Ichigo was going to ruin this.

Finally grunting in agitation, Renji pulled back slightly, just enough to lean down between the legs he was pressing open. Ichigo was squirming and snarling obscenities, but he was dully ignored and Renji began to quickly run his tongue over the boys opening. A yelp escaped him, his body tensing as he stilled immediately, hands gripping at the dirty carpet. Biting his lip to hold back a moan, Ichigo closed his eyes tightly.

Once he was sure the stripper was decently lubricated, Renji pulled back up and, taking the moment of Ichigo's pleasured calmness, he worked his pants down to his thighs. Folding those nicely toned legs over their owners body, up to his chest, Renji positioned himself at Ichigo's entrance. Pressing their lips together, he began to slowly push up into him.

(XxXxX)

_Put your hand against your skin_

_Rub it gently to begin_

_You feel it? Can you feel it?_

_When does pleasure become pain?_

_When does sex become insane? _

_You say yes, as you feel it_

_-Last Legal Drug (KoRn) _

(XxXxX)

Hours later, when the afterglow was finally subsiding, Renji had already fallen asleep on top of Ichigo. It was only now that he allowed his mind to wander, thinking about everything from the redhead, to Shuhei, to his family ...

It was a well known fact that Renji slept like a rock so it's no surprise that he didn't even stir when soft lips curled against his neck into a smirk.

(XxXxX)

Rawr. That's all I have for you this time. Sorry. But it IS rather long and there IS sexual situations all throughout sooooo I hope you guys like it. I know its not the best but this is my first time writing anything for Ichigo X Renji so I'm sort of figuring everything out as I go. XD And I hope no one minds the Ichigo X Cirucci moment but I couldn't help myself. She's too smexy to ignore.

And yes. Uryu IS a stripper too. Don't worry. I intend to reveal all of Ichigo's coworkers in time and, if I can, maybe give a bit of background too. However, since this entire story is not only an experiment for me but also a learning experience I intend to, when this is finished, write something of a side story before the events of this take place in which it will be focused more on Shuhei and his model self – not to mention his fellow models – so please look for it in the future!!

Please review!!


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